how did dr. L. fuck it up?
let me cough the ways: (the whys come later)
1. "the hospital is the best place for you tonight"
2. intimidated in the face of my intransigence in in the midst of total confusion-my protest defined me-despite loss of speech and neurological/psychomotor shut-down- i fuckin crawled out of the hospital. word for this is courage. awe? ha ha, see number 1.
3. abdication-weak male passive aggression. disconnection, exasperation, handling me.
4. unclear on the concept: psychosis or creative impulse, yo, creative and destructive processes get real close to wiping out the other, they trade places hon, unclear on the concept, won't say so, dishonest, useless platitudinous man psychologist.
5. unforgivable: did not support or take trouble seriosly for weeks, not til
/benefactor/boyfriend's credentials opened the door, dr. L waving me away
while he perused portfolio.
we clear? good!
frances farmer would have spit you out for breakfast
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