how did dr. L. fuck it up?
let me cough the ways:
(the whys come later)
1. "the hospital is the best place for you
tonight"
2. intimidated in the face
of my intransigence in in the midst of total confusion-my protest defined me-despite
loss of speech and neurological/psychomotor shut-down- i fuckin crawled out of
the hospital. word for this is courage. awe? ha ha, see number 1.
3. abdication-weak male
passive aggression. disconnection, exasperation, handling me.
4. unclear on the concept:
psychosis or creative impulse, yo, creative and destructive processes get real
close to wiping out the other, they trade places hon, unclear on the concept,
won't say so, dishonest, useless platitudinous man psychologist.
5. unforgivable: did not support or take trouble seriosly for weeks, not til
mentor/publisher/editor,
/benefactor/boyfriend's credentials opened the door, dr. L waving me away
while he perused portfolio.
fuck you!!
we clear? good!
love,
frances farmer would have
spit you out for breakfast
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