you people make me SLICK

you people make me SLICK!!!

do you read me i am slick, slippery, can you guess where? (no??! thanks!!! ok, sorry, thanks, gotcha)

that's the last fucking time i leave this irrepressibly madcap hornet's nest called home without the goddamn essentials, where's the list, my fuckin list needs me to pretend something linear truly awful exists-

ok here we go— car keys, sunglasses, money, veggies, carrots, cabbage, onions, minions, black narcissus, doris day daisy hat, battering ram, boyfriend (redundant, don't say i didn't warn y'all), windex, Lou Reed discography (see wrecker repellant), paper, pencils, suicide prevention kit, more windex (the better to see you with, my pretty), insane cackle, smelling salts, self-importance, lottie shredder, hellhound (see boyfriend, but don't touch, THANKS), Cool Whip, dick-whipped, Jonathan Richman greatest hits---

("I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR JONATHAN RICHMAN, THANX!!!!!!!!" Lou Reed) pavement replacement, genuine article, oprah's ass, let's see, windex, windex, windex, two turtledoves, brass knuckles, oh,

"and act like a TRUE girl!!!!!!!"

Jonathan Rich-ohforgetit, you'd only understand.

sincerely,

and a hole for me to get sick in

Home.