what? do i have any fuckin readers or what?


hey, i'm sorry to sound so ho-hum one track impatient, but jesus look at

the date, i mean this is it, you are my friends now, and i'm havin a problem,

2 days to decide once and for all, do you mind seein my email address laying around anywhere, this isn't some writerly joke today, still kicked out of my community and still work in progress, i.e. trainwreck ho-him, and i just need to know are me and my psychiatrist broke up or not?

he is famous for many things, including being the best shrink in austin, now if you been reading my letters to you, you see the dilemma i'm in.


second thing he known for is returning phone calls to patients before he even gets their message, oh sure, he gives me time to put Chet Baker on and light the candles, pour Chardonnay etc but this has never happened before not once in 3 years, that time he threatened to fire me was how i met my pals at psb, he said go ask 20 people who they think is right you or me and see what they say and i said i don't care if 50 people agree with me that you're the real neurotic in this relationshop i'll never do it again if you promise never to get so mad at me like this, we were both chest-heaving shook-up from the terrible fighting (fucking) that took place so i went straight home and found psycho-babble and wouldn't you know it 50 new friends said dump him, total wrecker, toss him into the acid vat, from which we now pull you out and wipe off the psychiatric toxic waste and i told fuckhead all about it, and we laughed, he said these people helpin you and i said is the pope a homo and we lauged again, see, we work on our relationshop.


Now this. Hopeless Mess or Latin Male, any ideas?


Even if one person wrote back i don't have time to read your long-winded and inconsiderate anti-woman diatribe, there are people all over town days waiting for me to go clean their mansions on the hill, ok 2, but still, that's alot of work too, and i am behind schedule, you think i'm a loon when away from my website you should see what happens when i've wandered too far from my cleaning supplies. ask me anything you want about vacuum cleaners, belts, bags, hoses, odor eliminators, degreasers, 3M verses Colgate Palmolive (new dish and pot scrub gel paste is delicious) SOS Pad corporate politics, whatever, man i got merry maids calling round the clock for this shit, no,

can't worry about psychiatrist or website rejection, go clean houses, first feed cats, ok, sunglasses, diet coke, Kools, Leave-It-To-Beaver Mrs. Cleaver starched white apron, carkeys, pitchfork, yep, looks like we're off and running, time to go get real real gong for a change-



try not to think about me, just read the words

(except when premenstrual, thanks)











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